Considering the momentary pleasure that comes from a “ job well done”, why is it that we continue to seek the comfort of affirmations from others? After all, it’s usually not for their benefit that we are doing those things in the first place, but all too often those words of affirmation push us further along and fuel us to keep pushing towards some goal that we desire.

It is strange to me that even as a Christian, other people’s opinions about me still seem to matter. God created me in His image and knows the intricacy of every cell in my body so why should someone else’s opinion hold any ground in my life? King Solomon, in the book of Proverbs states, “ Choose a good reputation over great riches, being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold” (Proverbs 22:1) but Christ also states that the world will hate you because of me (Matthew 10:22). So how are we to be hated and have a good reputation? To look at this we need to put a transparent lens on our hearts.

The surface of our problem lies in our perception of what is good and what is bad. Good and bad both come from the heart and the words we speak also come from our heart. As James says when speaking about the tongue,” Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God” (James 3:9) and in the context of the chapter, you can see that what we say from our mouths starts in our hearts. Jeremiah 17:9 also states, “ The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, who really knows how bad it is”. So following your heart is not good advice when deciphering between right and wrong. So how do we make sense of all this mess? We can’t trust our hearts, we want a good reputation but we are expected to be hated, and we want to uphold God above all things, what do we do? This is where the process of sanctification comes in. As much as I would like to believe that the moment we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior we are instantly downloaded with all knowledge of good and evil and every step becomes crystal clear, that’s just not the case. In a way though, there is truth in that statement, when we receive the Holy Spirit we now have direct access to speak to God, the knower of all things. 

Now sanctification does not sound fun. It sounds like a really hard diet that you know you need but you really don’t want to go through. You want the end product but not the pain of going through it. I am sure at some point in your life though, that you have kicked a habit, made a lifestyle change, or some other difficult task. More often than not the success of that journey was not accomplished because of sheer will and determination. Typically speaking success was found when you decided that you were no longer the person who did that thing. This is similar to sanctification. We were made new through Christ and we are always learning how to live with our new identity. God’s process of sanctification is to help us remove the sin and bad out of our lives and replace them with goodness and love (righteousness). It seems like more often than not this process comes on the heels of difficult circumstances. James says “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1: 2-3 NIV) so when the hard times roll in just take a deep breath and walk with God to get you through it. This process of sanctification is not a one-and-done event, unfortunately. In the same way that it is a narrow road that leads to heaven, it is a road that must be traveled down. 

Seeking God’s approval first is what we should always be after and that should be the driving force that pushes us on. Affirmation from others should be kindling to the fire and not the fuel itself. Matter of fact, it is a good thing to give affirmations. Proverbs 12:25 says that “ an encouraging word cheers a person up”. You might recall in the book of Job that the first 3 of Jobs’ friends blamed him for the trials he was going through but the 4th encouraged Job by speaking godly truth and wisdom to him. It was through these words that Job was able to find his healing and restoration. So please do not stop encouraging one another but if you are a true friend, encourage them in ways that are pleasing to God. There is already enough encouragement of the wrong things in the world. So remember, encourage in ways that glorify God and magnify His son Jesus and this will earn you a good reputation among those around you and the world will still hate you because you go against its ways.